A while back, my blogger friend, Shilpa Gupte, wrote about how the old days of blogging are no more. We no longer seem to connect like we used to. In some ways blogging relationships have become transactional – like other relationships. After her post, I’ve tried to comment on some blogs and read them diligently, until last month. But somehow the magic of old was missing. It’s taken me a while to process this and ask myself if my writing connects with other people. I’m still working on revisiting what I write and who it resonates with and how it builds a connection. Today I want to focus on two ways of finding connection through writing.

Finding Connection Through Writing
Writing To Connect With Others
May was a month many of us in India want to forget because of the death and misery we saw all around us. For me, it was a very sad month too as I lost an old friend to Covid. His passing made me think about the power of the written word and finding connection through writing.
My friend and I hadn’t been in touch in the last few months, I think we last connected for his birthday in September 2020. I had no idea that he was in hospital until I got a flood of messages from common friends and one from his daughter telling me that he had passed away. Such a shock. He was only 59. As I thought about how our friendship came about, I realized that a lot could be attributed to the few years in which we regularly wrote letters to each other. Later in life, we travelled together to the Philippines for a wonderful programme and had shared experiences and common friends, but that didn’t connect us as much as the letters did.
Connecting Through Letters
I met Stephen for the first time in Mumbai in 1983. I was 18 and still in college and he was 22, fresh out of Engineering college and working. Our shared experience at the youth conference we were both attending helped us to get to know each other a bit. At the end of the programme, several of us exchanged addresses with the promise to write. I diligently wrote to all the people I had addresses of, but Stephen was one of the few who responded. And so began our correspondence that continued for about 2-3 years. Writing on those blue, inland covers at first and then when we wrote longer letters on letter paper! As we kept writing the quality of our sharing deepened and we spoke of our backgrounds, families, experiences, hopes and dreams. It was what we both needed at that time.
Through the years, we kept in touch. I met his family, stayed over at their place twice, and over the years got to know his wife and daughter. There was a warmth and a connection there that I can’t really put into words. Stephen was one of the few old friends who connected with me when I got married and moved to Mumbai, when he visited the city. Ours was the kind of friendship that I could pick up the phone and ask for a favour and know that he would try his best to help me and vice-versa. A connection that was built largely on the fact that we wrote to each other several years ago.
The Good Old Days of Letter Writing
I remember how my parents, uncles and aunts who lived in India and abroad would diligently write letters to my grandparents. Since my grandfather was blind, my grandmother would read those letters out to him and he would often dictate a response for my grandmother to send. Sometimes she’d share these letters with us. We got news of family, read about how our cousins were doing and sometimes there’d be an enclosed photograph or two with a scribble about what the occasion was, who the other people in the photograph were, etc.
When my Mum’s sister moved abroad, she’d write long letters to Mum telling her about life there and adding a recipe or two.
And then there were pen pals. I had one in Australia. What a joy when I was able to connect her with her family back in India that her grandmother had lost contact with. Sadly, Julie and I lost contact too.
I know I’m sounding nostalgic but letters can’t replace all the apps and the telephone calls we use to connect. We might connect quicker but I’m not sure about the depth of these connections.
Last week, I pulled out some letter writing paper. I found my Dad’s address book and I’ve made a promise to myself to write a few letters to some family and friends.
Read this lovely piece to see the power of letters to connect : She Put Her Unspent Love in a Cardboard Box

Writing To Connect With Oneself
Another connection that can grow from writing is the one with ourselves. As Julia Cameron says, in her book The Right To Write, “Writing connects the self to the Self.”
I have found this to be particularly true with my Morning Pages practice. As I write, without an agenda, just spilling my thoughts, I find out things about myself I hadn’t realized before. I see experiences not processed fully and consciously, being laid bare on these pages. Writing this way helps me become conscious of my actions, motives, choices and decisions. It has also helped me understand how the behaviour of others has impacted my life.
The connection with my Self that I have discovered through my writing has helped me to heal, to stand up for myself and find the strength to walk out of toxic situations and relationships.
Each day, each life is a series of choices, and as we use the lens of writing to view our lives, we see our choices
Julia Cameron, The Right to Write
If anyone asks me how to discover more about themselves, their creativity or how to start working on healing, I tell them to write. That’s one of the most powerful ways I know of.
I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences about building a connection through writing.
Undoubtedly, writing letters is much more personal than the electronic format. There is only one person to whom I write a letter. He is a friend in England, who also periodically writes to me. He is over 70 years and hasn’t taken to electronic gadgets at all. Though he has a mobile phone, he doesn’t even send an SMS. He doesn’t have an email ID.
Pradeep recently posted…Barty Party
Oh wow! That sounds like a lovely correspondence, Pradeep. Thank you for sharing!
My Dad started using a computer at 80, so there’s still hope for this gentleman, if he’s interested.
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted…Rising Strong
I was reminiscing about the good old days of blogging and wrote about it this week. š I feel like if I get busy with my life and couldn’t read or comment on the few blogs left in the blogosphere, they will also leave this fragile world. I wish I could take a break without feeling guilty of ‘Am I sabotaging what’s left of the blogging world!’ I am thankful that you are here, Corinne. One of the few who is carrying on with the act of writing and inspiring. A sort of covid has infected the blogging world even before it affected the real world – that’s how I feel.
Sorry about your friend, Corinne. Some connections stay with us forever even when we don’t keep a constant tab on each other.
I used to send letters to my friends in Trivandrum when I was studying Engineering in Kannur. I didn’t have phone access, so letters were my tool of connection. But my friends were lazy to write a letter and sent me.
Sorry about this long rambling!
These days I feel I am losing connection with everything. Writing is what keeps me going. Morning pages give clarity on where my thoughts are. What would I do without the ability to pour my thoughts on a piece of paper!
Vinitha recently posted…Some Blogging Rants #SoulfulSunday
Thank you, Vini. Sorry I took so long to respond. I’m always wondering what we can do to bring the ‘old days’ back. Those really were such good times. No competition, just supporting each other! How can we go back? I wonder if the fact that social media wasn’t so much around helped?
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted…Rising Strong
Your post has made me feel the same. Good to get such reminders! Thanks!
‘Writing for ourselves’ works for me well- it’s my way of creative emotional expression, but yes I need to be regular in doing that.
I also believe that writing letters was not only a correspondence between 2 people, it was in-fact emotional expression that was creatively done through words.
Sheela Kumar recently posted…LISTEN-SILENT
I’m glad you agree, Sheela.
Thank you, Sheela. Sorry for the delay in responding to you. Hope you are doing well and writing more.
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted…Focus Rituals From Leo Babuta
Oh I used to be a big letter-writer. Recently my sister found some old ones of mine that I had written to my mom when I was working in another city. The mundane things I had written about seemed so special now. It was like getting a glimpse of our lives back then. I think phones and now whatsapp have spelt the end of letter-writing.
As for blogging, I have come to realise it will always remain my happy thing – a place where I share bits of my life. I’m hoping there are others like Shilpa and you who will continue to do the same.
Tulika recently posted…The Write Space
What a lovely find. I’m sure these letters also told you more about your younger self! I used to keep all the letters I got from friends, but then I realised that it might not be a good idea in the long run. About blogging if we can stay true to why we started in the first place, I think we’ll be fine. I must confess that I have had to remind myself of this recently.
Thanks for the mention, Corinne.
Yes, I miss those days too when we actually wrote! Holding the pen and writing on a paperāthe inland letters and the postcards!āthat was magical, beautiful. I too have some wonderful memories of writing to my cousins and pen pals; how I waited for their letters to arrive every week!
Now, it is all missing. Same with our blogs. We do write, but there isn’t much connection. I am glad at least a few of my friends make it a point to visit my blog. I too try my best to visit them. But, yes, those days of blogging are far behind us. And, even as I type this, I feel that in a year’s time, blogging will be outdated and something new will emerge. Wonder what, though! š
This post has been on my mind since I read yours, Shilpa. I too wonder how we can change things. I see a lot of interaction on many non-Indian blogs. Perhaps, we’re playing around in the wrong arena? š
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted…Writing Bravely Again
Aw I hope that doesn’t happen Shilpa.
Tulika recently posted…The Write Space