No More Excuses was written in response to Kate Motaung’s Five Minute Friday prompt — excuse and was first published on Medium. Since then, a couple of Fridays have gone by and I’ve been missing publishing my responses to these prompts.
Today I decided to play catch up and publish my responses to three of these prompts here as they’re all related to writing and creativity.
No More Excuses
I’ve been participating in a writing workshop and have signed up to be a part of a writing community. This is my investment in my writing journey in this year of ‘Yes’. When I chose to do this, I stepped out of the comfort of my blogging and into new territory of learning to write a lot more. I’ve even taken a break from my main blog to focus on the workshop.
The workshop helps me to work on looking back on events and experiences in my life and writing these down. I started off excitedly, but something is holding me back. Is it the risk of having to delve into my past? Or is it a fear of sharing things in the group that are quite personal. To be fair, I am not required to share my writing. But if I want to really grow and learn, I must take the risk of doing so.
I find lots of things to keep me busy and many excuses for not sitting down and doing the exercises from the work shop.
Today, I am resolving to move out of my comfort zone. No more excuses. No more playing safe.
We have to be honest about what we want and take risks rather than lie to ourselves and make excuses to stay in our comfort zone.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
Slowly Recovering Through Writing
The Five Minute Friday prompt on 27 May was ‘recover’ and the prompt for 3 June was ‘slow‘. I decide to turn this into one piece.
I think that one of the biggest gifts of the pandemic to me is the time and space to do a lot of reflection. While I have been doing a lot more chores around the house, I’ve also spent more time reflecting, going over past events, wondering how I could have responded differently to some situations and people, etc.
Another gift is a flood of memories from my childhood and early adulthood, that I’ve tried to forget happened.
This has led me to challenge myself to be more open, allowing my vulnerable and broken self to come to the fore in my personal writing. I’ve been trying to see things from a different perspective and giving myself the space to recover and heal slowly.
So while my confidence in my ability to stand up for myself has increased, I’m still asking myself questions about my writing –
- do I have anything of value to say to the world?
- will my experiences resonate with others?
- is there a way to share my experiences without hurting others? This is a really tricky one.
I’m still working on self-sabotage. But that’s a whole other post.
Writing is truly helping me to heal and slowly recover the real me.
“So often survivors have had their experiences denied, trivialized, or distorted. Writing is an important avenue for healing because it gives you the opportunity to define your own reality. You can say: This did happen to me. It was that bad. It was the fault & responsibility of the adult. I was — and am — innocent.”
― Ellen Bass, The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse
Are you making excuses not to write? Have you experienced writing as a means to heal and recover? Do share.
My only excuse for not writing is pre-occupation with other commitments that have gone up my list of priorities.
Completely understandable, Pradeep, especially in these times. I’m finding ways to carve out some ‘writing days’. More about that soon.
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted…The Good You Deserve As A Writer
To answer your question, Corinne— Writing, for me, has been an attempt to heal and recover from the many many things that I’ve witnessed and yes, actions and words from other people that have left a mark somewhere deep enough for me to reflect upon.
I think you write for your own sake, right? And it comes from how you feel about people and stuff they did or said. How people take it, is really up to them.
Thank you, Esha. Yes, even as I search for my ‘ideal reader’, I know I’m also writing for myself. Does that make sense?
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted…Your Writing Matters
Excuses are always there. But the choice lies with us what to do about an excuse.
I believe there is value in everything we say, Corinne. I was thinking how I remember pieces of conversations, stuff someone told me (not just bad stuff, good ones too), but I don’t remember anything I told others. Then it struck me, maybe someone else might remember the things I said. We value others’ words. We don’t think that our words carry such value.
Hurting others through my writing is one of my biggest concerns. I know my intention isn’t to hurt because when you say the truth it is just the truth. But I think too much about these things. I believe with time we will gain the strength and courage to tell our story without worrying about the hurt a written word could cause. A long way to that island!
VInitha recently posted…What’s Your Worth? #SoulfulSunday
Yes, it’s always important to remind ourselves that our words matter. Like you said, if our intention is good writing about the ‘bad’ stuff will come out alright in the end.
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted…Taking Time To Be Quiet
I think most writers worry about hurting someone with their stories. But like Holly said, if people wanted you to be shown in good light, they really should have behaved better! Keep writing, Corinne! We’d love to hear your stories!
Modern Gypsy recently posted…On my art table: The Bridge
Ah, I wish it was as easy as that. But I’ll find a way. Thanks, Shinjini!
Sometimes, what we label an “excuse” is really a “reason.” The opposite is also true, of course, and it helps to figure out, honestly, which you’re dealing with. We all have good and valid reasons for doing things that may, to others, appear to be “excuses.” You do not owe it to anyone to accept their labels. You owe it to yourself to figure out what’s true and what’s best for you.
I think that the fear of hurting others – or of the backlash, to yourself – can be a “reason.” But if you write such things in a journal, and secure it until that reason passes and is no longer an issue, you can decide if it’s worth continuing to keep it private or if there is more value – to you, or to others – in sharing it. This is “discretion.” It is not always an “excuse.”
One of my favorite quotations:
“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.”
― Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life
Holly Jahangiri recently posted…Movement: Body
I’ve that advice from Anne Lamott and agree, but this is a bit more complicated. For now I’m sharing it in a small group and if and when I decide to publish these writings, I’ll it in the kindest way possible. Thank you, Holly!
I know you will. I just wanted to remind you that you own your story; to publish or not to publish is entirely up to YOU. Don’t let anyone else push you into doing it before you’re ready, and don’t let anyone hold you back, once you are. You don’t need permission.
It is something I will remember, Holly. Thank you for your encouragement.
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted…Taking Time To Be Quiet